Abyste viděli, že stále tvořím (i když kdo by sem ještě chodil... Noo ale co kdyby.), rozhodla jsem se zveřejnit svojí historicky první povídku, která kdy spatřila světlo světa livejournalu. No a protože LJ, tak dopředu upozorňuju, ano, jedná se o slash. Konkrétně pairing Fernando Alonso/Kimi Räikkönen. To jenom abyste neřekli, že jsem vás nevarovala.;)
No a o čem to je? Shrnu to jedním slovem - romanťyka.
Everybody surely knows those days when nothing goes the right way. And how easy it is to give in to those feelings of hate, anger and depression that come afterwards.
Fernando was feeling so lucky to be back at his hotel room. It was the only lucky feeling he had in past few weeks. Another weekend to forget. Nothing unusual this season. The problem was this was like... Fourth time in a row. He has been through so many emotions that now he just got incredibly tired of it all. The car was shitty and nobody's been able to find and solve the problem. And his teammate wasn't a big help at all. Instead of doing his best on track he was clearly trying to get the prize for the moaner of the year.
Fernando flopped down on the sofa and looked out from the window. It was getting dark. His team is probably celebrating his second place out there somewhere right now. He knew he should be there with them, especially after he said how proud and happy he is. But it was just a mask. There was this tiredness that he couldn't deal with.
He spoke to his wife shortly but even her couldn't fix his mood. Maybe because she was so far away from him at the moment – and "far away” didn't mean only kilometers.
Speaking about kilometers and being far away...
No, those thoughts were banned.
But denying never can erase the pain. Not the sharp one when you can't breathe, it wasn't this case. This was the apathetic one, when you understand too well there's nothing you can do to change the situation. The one that brings you to that awful "I-don't-care-anymore” state of mind.
No wonder combination of this pain and lame results made him so tired.
Fernando took a deep breath and realized he should take a shower, watch a movie or do anything else. Lying on the sofa, staring at the ceiling and thinking... Not the best idea for tonight.
Suddenly his phone rang. Fernando's heartbeat dramatically raised when he saw who was trying to reach him.
"Yeah?” He said suspiciously.
How are you?” came in reply.
"Fine. Anything else?”
"I can hear you're not so fine.”
Fernando paused for a while.
"The car sucks, this season sucks, everything sucks. How do you expect me to feel?”
"That's why I'm calling. I've been where you are.”
"You have no idea where I am.” Fernando shortly laughed with a bit of sorrow.
"Of course I have. Let me guess. Right now, you want everybody to go to hell and leave you alone. But you're out of power to do or say anything.”
"What do you want from me?” Fernando interrupted the speech.
"Nothing. I just want you to be OK.”
"Well it's none of your business anymore. It's all over.”
"I didn't say such a thing.”
"It's not about what you've said, it's about what you've done!” Fernando nearly shouted, "If you want to calm me down now, it's my duty to inform you that you're somewhere in the middle of the fucking States. And it's not calming me at all when you throw it in my face like that.”
"Stop yelling at me.”
"I'm sorry. Just... How many times I've seen you last year? If you can't – or don't want to – be with me, then please don't contact me. I'm messed up enough already.”
"Honey... I will come back. Soon, I promise. I'm thinking about you everyday.”
"Mhm.” Fernando murmured, "Well, I have to go now. Thanks for your care.”
The line went dead.
Fernando took a deep breath again. Well, this put him in even worse mood than he was before. Shower and movie. And stop thinking. That's exactly what he needs right now.
He just walked away and now he's wondering what's wrong? Just as Montoya said: Fucking, fucking Räikkönen. What a fucking idiot.
The shower didn't work well. Fernando just kept thinking about what Kimi said. I have been where you are. No doubt he wasn't just saying that. Fernando knew very well that Kimi had experienced what it means to be exhausted, sad and angry many times. But he shared those feelings rarely. They had many argues over it, but now Fernando started to understand why Kimi talked so few about those feelings. The problem was he often didn't talk about any of his feelings. But they somehow have a true understanding for each other. So they got closer... And after some time, Kimi opened to him and started to share his thoughts and emotions. That's when Fernando fell for him.
When he came back from shower, he found out Kimi texted him. It said: "I'm still with you. You will see.”
Fernando grunted and deleted the message quickly.
Fortunately, movies worked better. He still had Kimi in the corners of his mind, but after third action movie he finally managed to fall asleep.
It was soon in the morning when a knock on the door suddenly woke him up. It was still dark outside. Hell, which idiot?
His jaw got a rendez-vous with the floor when he opened the door.
"Hey.” Kimi smiled at him. He was leaning against the wall and looked so damn cute with that smile on his face.
"Kimi? Wha-What...? How did you get here?” Fernando was still shocked and couldn't believe...
"I don't know what you mean exactly, so let me start from the beginning. I caught the first plane and it was luckily the fast one, so I was here within 8 hours. I went right to this hotel, because you're staying here every year. And how I've found your room... Let's just say when it comes to women, I'm simply the best. Even when it comes to chambermaids.”
He could see how moved Fernando was, he still remained speechless.
"But let's forget all this. I'm here. Right now. And I'm completely yours, for the rest of the night and the whole day.”
"You're serious?” Fernando started to believe that this is not just a dream.
"Absolutely.” Kimi nodded. Then he finally walked in and closed the door.
"I hope now you see that I'm still with you. And that you're very important for me, no matter where I am.”
"Can you please stop talking and just kiss me already?” Fernando tied up his arms around Kimi's shoulders, smiling as a little child under the Christmas tree.
"Yes sir.” Kimi smiled back at him a kissed him gently on the lips.
Fernando leaned his forehead against Kimi's.
"I'm sorry. I just missed you too much...”
"That's OK. I missed you too. And for some time I thought it may be the best for us to end this. That's why I did that, I mean walk away. But if it means that I'll lose you forever... Then I don't want to stop.”